


sunshine, and glory too

by fannyatrollop



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Not-Princess-Princess!Katya, Princess Academy AU, Sort-Of-Austen-Heroine-Circumstances!Trixie, Twins!Trixie/Pearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-04-23 00:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14320812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannyatrollop/pseuds/fannyatrollop
Summary: For all her talk about being an idiot, Pearl had accomplished at least one important thing in their short lives. If it wasn’t for her, they probably wouldn’t be the crown princess’ ladies in waiting.Two charity cases find love. There are princesses, and faeries, too.





	1. the other liaison-mattel girl

**Author's Note:**

> **c. 02/19/2019** : Heya! It's me, Nya! 
> 
> When I started writing this story, I had intended for it to be a two-parter. That is, it was only meant to be two chapters long, yet it stubbornly grew beyond that while I quietly increased the projected chapter count. This is why I never bother guessing how long a story's gonna be anymore, Jesus can get a firm grip on that wheel and I'll just be along for the ride.
> 
> I nearly died of laughter when I decided to do a Master Edit and I ended up chopping it up into a higher chapter count.
> 
> I'm probably going to do this every time I actually finish a story, because I am Like This and tend to pick at my writing when I reread my own work. And I do read my own stuff often... like Narcissus, if part of the fun of staring at his own reflection lay in finding new flaws to correct every time. I've date stamped this author's note so that anyone clicking on this fic hoping to find new chapters can know that no, I have not added to this story at all, only subtracted and divided things up a little differently. And also so that I can point to the part where I say I'll do this every time I finish something and say "well, I said this on February of 2019 AD, I've changed since" when I end up being too lazy to do it again. And I finally titled the chapters!
> 
> Alright, I did add a teeny tiny bit, but if you've read this through to the ending before, it's still pretty much the same. I will gladly give you mad ramblings about what I think happens after the end if you come chit chat on tumblr. I love rambling madly, it's why I've gone on this long right now. Anyway, here's Sunshine... again.

The night before the twins were born, their mother dreamt that one of her daughters would accomplish something truly wonderful. She always said that the moment Pearl was born, she got the feeling it would be her.

Unfortunately, Trixie was the one she pushed out after she had filled her quota for love. This sad fact was even reflected in her naming choices: Pearl the precious gem, and Beatrice, after a dead grandmother. Her words and behaviour to her daughters as they grew would only prove the point further; as far as the Baroness Liaison-Mattel was concerned, her daughter Trixie was an afterthought.

Trixie consoled herself by thinking that all her mother’s waffle about Pearl being born special was just the way she justified her blatant favouritism, and for her part, Pearl thought so too. She thought it was absolutely hilarious that she, out of the two of them, was supposed to be the special one.

“She tells people I’m quiet because I’m _thoughtful_ , not because I can barely speak my own native tongue,” Pearl would say, on those odd nights when they would share a bed like they did when they were little girls. “Seriously, Trix, I’m the family idiot. You’re the one I’d be watching if I was her.”

“But you’re the pretty one,” Trixie would respond, gently poking the tip of her sister’s nose.

Poor Pearl never wanted to be exalted above her. She always seemed to be apologizing for her existence, and though Trixie secretly thought it was the least she could do, Pearl had always been a wonderful sister and friend to her. When Pearl brought herself down to cheer her up, Trixie would naturally build her back up.

They had lived that way all their lives. Having no one else, the sisters could not afford to be rivals. Something like real love existed between them, bravely making cracks in the resentment their mother’s treatment would naturally create.

Trixie was no angel. She was capable of feeling jealousy towards Pearl. But in the end, when nobody else cared to, it was Pearl who held her hand, and that mattered a great deal.

***

For all her talk about being an idiot, Pearl had accomplished at least one important thing in their short lives. If it wasn’t for her, they probably wouldn’t be the crown princess’ ladies in waiting.

It wouldn’t have been possible at all without their mother’s aggressive push to involve her daughters in high society. Though the Liaison-Mattels were only rich in status nowadays, the baroness had the tenacity of someone who never did take well to the loss of her husband’s fortune, which she spoke of as if it was simply misplaced under a cushion rather than gambled away through a vice passed down his noble line for generations. Wherever the money had gone, they were still landed aristocrats and there was no reason to behave lower than their rank allowed. Besides, until the girls’ father actually landed himself in debtor’s prison it really wasn’t all that bad. They could show themselves among their kind of people.

By this logic, Pearl and Trixie were perfectly worthy of being presented as companions to Princess Violet, heiress apparent to the throne, on the occasion of her heading off to the Royal Academy for Royal Ladies. Her Royal Highness had decreed that she wished to mingle with the nobility, so that she might get to meet other young ladies, and choose her companions according to her own taste. Naturally, a grand ball at the royal palace was in order.

There was some fun involved in preparing for the ball. The girls were both well-versed in breathing life into old gowns, for it was not always within their means to commission new ones for the season’s big events. Pearl carefully restored their mother’s old debutante gown, and Trixie, once she had recovered from nearly suffocating on the dust she had disturbed by producing it for her use, went to work on one of her namesake grandmother’s party dresses.

Beatrice the Elder had, reportedly, been very fashionable in her time, but the aggressive pastel ruffles that threatened to swallow the dress whole were no longer _au currant_. Even so, Trixie did not have the heart to get rid of them, not completely. She liked the way the dress made her look like a cloud, as light as she could possibly claim to be. Her body was not shown to advantage in the sleek styles favoured by the fashionable crowd, anyhow.

Neither of them expected anything to come out of being presented to the princess. For Pearl and Trixie, the evening’s excitement was based solely on the simple fact that they would be going somewhere. They did not foresee that their family would be contacted with the news that _Pearl_ had been selected as Princess Violet’s new lady-in-waiting.

It puzzled Pearl, for she had only exchanged some brief words with the princess, about music. Her cheeks got pink when she recalled this brief conversation to Trixie, who had left her alone to go on a quest for refreshments when the interaction had taken place.

Being a small kingdom, news traveled fast, and they eventually came to know that it was _only_ Pearl who had been selected as the princess’ companion. Violet was known to be decisive, to know exactly what she wanted and what she wouldn’t abide by, so as soon as she expressed her inclination that was _that_. Though she had every right to be like this, her actions still created a buzz among the privileged. The princess was, after all, entitled to having as many ladies as she pleased. It was strange for her to only come away from the evening with one. There were whispers about the princess being confused, behaving like a prince choosing a bride.

If that really was the case, it wouldn’t be surprising. Violet had been brought up like a prince in many ways, with full knowledge that she would rule on her own right when the time came. Many a frustrated adviser to the king had expressed worries about the day their first queen regnant would ascend to the throne, as she was already proving rather inclined to getting her own way.

The Baroness Liaison-Mattel, in her infinite wisdom as a well brought-up lady, and one who was acquainted with the gossip about the princess’ character, had the gall to insist on her second daughter tagging along into service as a condition for taking on her precious Pearl.

“They’re twins,” she said, coolly staring the royal envoy in the face as a torrent of sweat sprouted from his brow. “Surely I’m not expected to have them separated, am I?”

The princess delivered another sizable shock by taking them both without much of a fuss. Trixie was sure she could thank Pearl whispering into her ear on her behalf for the opportunity, rather than her mother’s impertinence. She felt more comfortable thanking the sister she liked for her good fortune, rather than the mother she resented. Her assumption was confirmed upon her first meeting with Violet.

“I hear you’re clever,” she said, addressing her words to the wall rather than to Trixie. “And that you’re an accomplished musician.”

Trixie nodded, and then remembered that Violet was not glancing in her direction. Trixie wondered if she held all of her conversations this way, or if she only did this with people she felt were beneath her.

“I have been said to be those things,” she said.

Violet took a lengthy pause.

“I should like to hear you someday,” she said, finally, giving her a quick glance. “I do like music.”

***

The Academy was located at what may as well have been the very end of the Earth, especially to a lady as unaccustomed to travel as Trixie. A carriage led to a ship, which led to yet another carriage on a journey requiring frequent stops. Pearl slept through most of the ordeal, often slumped against Her Royal Highness herself. Violet would venture to run a tender finger through her hair when she didn’t think Trixie was looking, or when she was too weary to care that she saw.

Trixie was only able to rest when her body could not physically maintain its refusal to sleep without the basic comforts she was used to, a common ground she shared with Violet. The two of them would share insomniac silences while Pearl slept and Violet’s fae companion, Fame, had drifted off to attend to business neither of them were privy to. Sometimes they attempted conversation, but they mostly gazed out of their respective windows and waited for another member of their party to take charge of brightening the air. When she chose to be among them, Fame proved to be the most eager to step up to that challenge.

At approximately five hundred years of age, Fame was apparently considered a tad young to be part of a royal entourage by the judgment of her people. She normally looked and behaved as if she was of age with the rest of the group, though she had known Violet since she was an infant and sometimes shared stories about her childhood antics. According to Violet, Fame looked exactly as she did then when she was small. She would carry her in her arms to soothe her if she hurt herself, and rock her to sleep while singing lullabies in the fae tongue. Even though she was told not to coddle her, Fame persisted in her gentle ways with the young princess. As her presence was more of a boon to the king than it was to Fame, disciplining her for ignoring his wishes was not really an option.

Trixie had never met a faerie, nor had she shared any contact with magical beings before entering royal service, so she couldn’t really say she had any expectations about Fame. She hadn’t been certain she’d get to meet her at all.

Her knowledge of the fae folk implied that they would only bother to interact with humans if an effort was made to attract them. Trixie wouldn’t have been surprised if Fame had refused to appear before her, but appear she did. She would speak to Trixie when Pearl and Violet were too caught up in the camaraderie they had fallen into ever since they met, and, having noted her discomfort, offered to put her to sleep at various points. She swore her magic was perfectly safe, and that she was skilled enough not to accidentally put her in an eternal sleep, but Trixie would always decline and then regret her choice, vowing to accept the next time Fame offered her help.

Fame told Trixie all she knew about the Academy, to help her pass the time.

Essentially, Trixie learned, it had been established as a place to allow princesses from a remarkably large geographical reach to mingle. Princesses generally receive plenty of education at home, so there would have to be something more in it for royal families to send their daughters abroad in such large numbers. A place where a sisterhood of princesses could emerge, it was assumed, would make diplomacy an easier task, and create alliances that would otherwise be impossible. It was known that women were the relationship builders of the world.

The founder was rumoured to be some sort of fae. Fame was certain they were, for they were able to produce fae companions for exceptionally beautiful girls of low birth and essentially transform them into marriageable princesses. There was no way these special cases could be so blessed without the help of a benevolent fae. Even someone like Trixie, gifted with rank though not with gold, would never have been able to attract one with her family’s resources.

“Which is a shame, really,” Fame had said, toying with one of Trixie’s curls. “I’m certain you and your sister are more than worthy on your own merits. Alas, my kind are far too fond of gold and other shiny things. Precious few would be wise enough to know what a pleasure it would have been to help raise such charming girls as the two of you.”

Trixie hadn’t known how to respond to that, had simply nodded and thanked her. The look in Fame’s eyes betrayed her true age. It was a bit overwhelming to be under Fame’s gaze. To Trixie, it felt like her mother might look at her like that if she ever decided to love her.

***

The Academy’s grounds were a whole universe unto themselves, with a grand palace as its centerpiece. Upon entry, the palace would prove to be larger on the inside than the already mammoth structure they beheld as they approached. Pearl grasped Trixie’s hands in hers as they pulled in, gasping at the sprawling campus.

If there were stories of lonesome ladies simply disappearing in its halls, or somewhere in the surrounding wilderness, it would be reasonable to assume that they were true. Though she was one of Violet’s official companions, Trixie was more or less left to fend for herself from early on. She was told that she had all the freedom in the world to carry on with her days how she pleased, and that she would be sent for if her presence was required. As she was seldom needed, she had plenty of time to risk being swallowed up by her temporary home.

Pearl settled into her role as the princess’ companion with far more fervour than Trixie did. Perhaps that was to be expected. Violet liked to keep her close, and the longer they were all together the clearer it became that Pearl liked it too. She started sleeping in Violet’s chamber a few days after their arrival, and seemed rather pleased to do so. The space in her and Trixie’s shared bedroom became a sore sight with how lonesome it was. Trixie tolerated it, though, as there was no challenge to her in growing accustomed to a state of affairs that had been clear from the beginning. She was no stranger to being unwanted, to the point where it was almost a comfortable feeling.

Still, Pearl had been Trixie’s constant companion since birth, and she missed the way it was when they only had each other. Trixie missed being a sister. She wished her twin had not been taken away from her.

When she thought of it that way, though, she would be struck with guilt. All things considered, Violet had been rather gracious in her treatment of her. It would benefit their family if the future queen decided Pearl was her favourite, and Trixie prayed their mother wouldn’t spoil that with her personality.

Not long after their arrival, a new member was added to Violet’s entourage, easing Trixie’s loneliness a little.

Kim was the most promising young seamstress in their kingdom, and had been selected to take charge of the crown princess’ wardrobe. Violet had a keen interest in fashion. Her wardrobe was enormous, and would only continue to grow. As part of her duties, Kim would sit with the princess and create new designs for gowns, with her creative input. She would often be sent to gather materials, and spent a large portion of her time sewing, though she was mercifully allowed to procure an assistant or two for particularly difficult projects. Kim was a true prodigy, quite adept at going it alone most times, but even someone with golden hands like hers sometimes needed a little help.

Trixie would offer her services when Kim required them, and sometimes even when she did not, so they could spend more time together. Kim had a room set aside for her use, but when she was not abroad with the freedom to chase rumours of some wonderful new type of fabric and a bottomless budget, she would share a bed with Trixie. It was almost like being a child again, sharing secrets with her sister until the sun rose back up, or until they both nodded off.

“If I had my way,” Kim said, on a particularly silly night. “My eyes would cover half my face.”

Trixie had laughed out loud at that.

“You could ask Fame to make it so. I might do it too, then.”

As her presence was only specifically requested when her princess wished to hear her play, it didn’t take long for Trixie to start feeling like a useless charge. Even so, she was determined not to fall into an eternal sulk. It was not because she valued cheerfulness, or had a particular wish to be agreeable to the people around her. Trixie had always had a contrary streak. If the world insisted on putting her in a situation where it mattered little if she lived or died, letting that get her down would be akin to _losing_ , and she was not going to stand for that. She may have been a fearsome general in another life, or a very stubborn mule.

So she devoted more time to her lute, and her harp, than she ever had at home. She had free rein of the library, and had as much paper as she desired at her disposal to write if she so chose, even if she wasn’t a great poet or thinker. She laid in the sun and let freckles bloom on her skin, enjoying the lack of a shrill voice telling her it made her look too low class. Sometimes, she joined Violet and Pearl in their amusements, and made the most out of having Kim nearby when she did. She focused more on her freedom, and less on her desire for someone to share it with.

***

Written into the code of conduct at the Academy was a truly noble attempt to create a semblance of equality among its many residents. This was mostly meant to benefit the special cases, those girls who had been so charitably plucked from obscurity in order to keep royal bloodlines fresh and inspire the dreams of the downtrodden. To discourage divisions over rank, every young lady within the walls of the academy, whoever they may be, should be referred to as one would a noble lady. Violet and Trixie, different as they were in rank, would be known as Lady Violet and Lady Beatrice to those outside their circle.

This didn’t change the reality of the situation; some ladies were destined to wield more power than others, and this was not hidden in the least. The size of a lady’s entourage played a great part in distinguishing those born with a golden crown in their future from those who could only weave them out of wildflowers and dream if not blessed with divine intervention. Violet was an unusual case in that her personal household was rather small, for she did not wish to be responsible for too many souls when there was no need. Bringing a personal pastry chef, for instance, was permitted to her, but it would be a display of status rather than a real necessity. Equipping their daughters with all the luxuries they did not need was a show of strength, a kingdom’s assertion that they had riches enough to waste on their precious princesses.

Violet preferred to show strength through her own regal bearing and lack of concern with proving herself, but the same could not be said of all her peers. She became fast friends with a Lady Valentina, who boasted one of the most extravagant entourages at the Academy. Her court away from home included a full band, three dressmakers, and one individual whose occupation was to provide fresh roses for her suites every other day. She had five identically-dressed noble ladies whose sole purpose was to follow her silently wherever she roamed. They were called The Five Lady Marias, because even their names matched.

Lady Valentina had a personal pleasure barge, complete with a rower. She was gracious enough to allow Violet, along with both Trixie and Pearl, aboard for a sunny afternoon on the campus lake. The water was uncommonly pretty and clear. Trixie liked watching the fish go about their business as the barge moved over the water with the speed and urgency of a tortoise. There was no possible destination available to them, but the lake was large enough that it was difficult to see the opposite end from shore, so they had room to float lazily.

From their position, they could see Valentina’s ladies waiting at shore, content to fan themselves and play cards on a blanket laid out for them to sit on. Trixie had spotted the Lady Adore taking her daily swim; a mermaid princess, she found it taxing to keep a human form for as long as she would need to if she ventured a full day on land. She once said that she longed for the sea like nothing else, but as long as she was in water once a day she could make do. Sometimes she could even be found there twice in one day. She would search for and wave cheerfully at the boating party whenever she rose from the depths, the patches of scales that were always visible on her skin gleaming in the sunlight.

That day, Lady Adore was joined by another lady, one Trixie was not acquainted with. Trixie watched the girl jump into the water with a whoop and a giant splash, while her fae companion conjured up a plush chair to sit in. Like Fame, this faerie chose a human form, appearing as a heavy set woman with shocking orange hair. She shouted as her charge splashed some water her way, but they seemed to be friendly.

Trixie strained to get as good a look at the girl as she could, oddly intrigued by the stranger. She did this until it felt too silly to continue, too silly and a little mortifying. She guided herself back to her company, which she had parted with momentarily to shove her nose into the affairs of others. They had been discussing music while her mind was away.

“I am still at a loss as to why you haven’t brought your own musicians from home, my dear,” Lady Valentina said, the air sweetened by the musical stylings of her country’s best lute player. “You’re a curious creature. You have such a great opportunity to show off your people’s talents, and yet you leave them at home.”

“You could always visit,” Violet said, with her customary inability to make eye contact with the person she is speaking with. Granted, Valentina often fell into that habit as well.

“Lady Beatrice is very talented.”

Trixie sat in shocked silence. She remained so while Pearl murmured her confirmation that Trixie was, indeed, musically gifted, and rattled off the instruments she had learned in her efforts to while away her childhood. She wasn’t used to being singled out by Violet, much less complimented.

Valentina fixed her eyes on Trixie, along with the wide smile she always wore, one that never quite reached her eyes.

“Lady Beatrice, could you please play for us?” she asked, gently.

Trixie felt Pearl squeeze her hand, and caught Violet looking at her with a small smile on her face. She gulped, but nodded her agreement, and quickly found herself holding the lute Valentina’s court musician had been playing, which had been directed her way with a wordless gesture from his mistress.

Though her hands shook at first, Trixie loved music dearly, and when she concentrated on the song she wanted to play she was able to shed her nerves. She chose a traditional song, one that had always calmed and comforted her when she heard it before learning to play herself.

When she finished, she was met with Valentina’s enthusiastic applause, and a surprising spark of life in her normally cold eyes.

“ _Brava_ , Lady Beatrice!” she shouted, without tiring from the applause. “Could you play another? Lady Violet, did you know she was so accomplished when you took her on?”

“I had a reliable source,” replied Violet, with a fond glance at Pearl.

Trixie hoped she wasn’t blushing. She agreed to play again, had to admit she enjoyed the attention.

“Aja!” Valentina called out, until the most original looking girl manifested in a shimmer next to her. “Could you please make the sound of Lady Beatrice’s music carry better? I’d like it if my ladies could hear it too.”

Trixie chose a song she knew to be Violet’s favourite. She let herself be absorbed into her playing, in the sound of the music and the way her hands felt like they were gently guided by a supernatural force. She wondered if she truly was talented, or if she had a guardian she could not see showing her the way.

She felt a hand settle firmly on her shoulder to shake her from her trance. Pearl motioned to the water, where Adore was peeking up at them.

“Hullo,” she said. “Got a message for Lady Beatrice.”

“Go on,” Trixie said, smiling back at her. There was something about Adore’s easy manner that just made her smile.

“Lady Katya, the one waving at us over there, well, she just wanted you to know she really liked your music,” said Adore. “Wouldn’t rest until I came all the way here to tell you.”

Trixie watched the girl on the shore as she waved with both arms back at her, and cupped her mouth with her hands to cheer at her. She must have looked awfully stupid, for she eventually felt a splash of cool water hit her face. Adore must have put her back into it.

“I’ll tell her thank you, yeah?” Adore offered, sticking her tongue out at Trixie.

Trixie nodded her assent.


	2. how to form acquaintances and entice people

Trixie found herself looking for Lady Katya as she went about her days, hoping to run into her. Boredom must have driven her to it, since she wasn’t really the type to go out of her way to make new acquaintances. The ladies she associated with, outside of her immediate circle, were ladies who drifted into her orbit without much effort on her part. Trixie was used to being a solitary creature, and though she longed for and welcomed companionship, she seldom made overtures on her own.

It may also have been that Lady Katya had seemed so lively from the glimpse she’d caught that day. Even as a small figure in the distance, Trixie could sense a very appealing energy coming from her. She liked how she had wanted her to know how much she had enjoyed her playing, to the point of sending Adore over specifically so she could tell her. It made her feel noticed. Judging by the way she behaved, and the fact that she only seemed to have a faerie companion to hang about her, she must either be one of the more uncomplicated princesses (highly unlikely), or a special case. Trixie wanted to know her story.

She had a feeling that Lady Katya would be an outdoorsy sort, and even if she didn’t long to see her, Trixie thought she should take advantage of the sunshine until autumn came. She took to spending as much time as she could outside. She would sometimes bring a book with her, or one of her instruments. Adore would laugh at her from the lakeshore, and pester her about how she was suddenly spending a suspicious amount of time near the water.

“Come swim with me,” she would say. “I know that’s why you’ve come, and you shouldn’t be shy about it. I will return your affections if you confess.”

“I’ll have to decline,” Trixie would reply. “I can’t trust you not to drown me. Cheeky little fish.”

Adore would then prove that assessment of her character by blowing a raspberry in her direction.

She finally deigned to be useful one afternoon, when Trixie once again found herself keeping her company.

“The lady you want to see likes to come here in the mornings, before her lessons,” said Adore, in a serious tone for once. “She says it’s a good place to stretch, likes the air. She’s very easy to talk to.”

Trixie kept those details in mind, but somehow knowing just where to find Lady Katya made her single that place out as one to be avoided when she could expect to see her there. She often woke with the full intention of catching her there, but would suddenly feel ill and make a different choice.

She remained in the palace when she knew she might catch the object of her interest, but ventured out when she couldn’t be so certain. In times like these, she struggled to believe anyone who had ever claimed she was the smart twin.

***

Kim returned for a spell before Trixie could spend too much time stewing in her own foolishness. Trixie worked on the new gowns Violet had commissioned with her, mostly pretty things to wear on the daily. Kim confided in her that she wished the princess would commission something grander, and that she had started making sketches for a possible coronation gown in her idle hours.

It wasn’t overly complicated work, but Trixie insisted on helping, telling Kim that she had missed her. She really had missed her, as she usually did when she was away, but she had missed her most in the days she spent fretting over Lady Katya.

Kim had wrinkled her nose at that. 

“Sorry, but I’m hoping to marry an heiress.”

Trixie swatted at her playfully.

She didn’t talk to Kim about her new fixation. She hadn’t really spoken to anyone about how she suddenly wanted to make a friend, not Pearl, and not Adore, even though the latter must have read her mind somehow. 

Pearl sometimes worked with them, usually when Violet was at her lessons, or concentrating on the thick stacks of letters she’d started to receive from her father. 

“She likes to be alone when she reads them,” Pearl said, when she’d caught a private moment with Trixie. “She hasn’t read any to me, but it’s probably important advice for when she’s queen. She’s been thinking about that a lot lately.”

Pearl soon developed a friendly rapport with Kim. Much like Trixie’s greatest skill was music, she was especially good at needlework, to the point where Trixie would often beg her for help with embellishments on her dresses growing up. She would smile to herself as she snuck tiny embroidered violets into Violet’s clothes. Sometimes, Trixie would catch her whispering with Kim and glancing in her direction.

Pearl took Trixie aside one evening.

“How do you like it here?” she asked her, touching her hand.

Trixie suppressed a sigh. Sometimes, Pearl liked to act like a proper big sister, or at least she tried. She must have gotten it in her head that Trixie needed that, though she can’t imagine why.

“I like it well enough,” she said. “I find ways to occupy myself.”

Pearl looked at her with great sympathy. It turned her stomach.

“Have you been happy?”

“I have been content to see  _ you _ happy,” Trixie asserted. “Your happiness fills me with joy.”

Pearl sighed.

“I feel like we never talk anymore, and like you might need some company. I know joining Violet and I is uncomfortable for you, and she does as well, but I promise we enjoy having you around. I just see you by yourself all the time, when you’re not with Kim, and it worries me. You’ve not been forgotten, and I think it’s important that you know that. So please, be truthful with me.”

The hand on hers gripped it tightly.

Trixie could hear the rain beating down on the castle, echoing in its great empty spaces. It had been raining hard for about a week, every single day, and maybe that helped put her on edge. She suddenly felt very angry. Trixie hated pity, especially from Pearl. She wanted Pearl to stop looking at her, to go back to their princess and let her be.

She had to get out of the conversation before she started letting the small, spiteful side of her take hold and start putting blame on Pearl for all the sorrows in her life.

“You know I’ve always liked being on my own,” she said, swiftly pulling her hand out of Pearl’s grip. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

She ignored the shouts of her name as she sped away, heading nowhere in particular. The labyrinthine hallways would have to serve well enough for a calming stroll. Even if she had wanted to talk to her sister, she didn’t really understand her own feelings. Or rather, she understood, but she also knew the danger of releasing them. She’d forbidden herself from getting angry when she was young, and she wasn’t about to allow herself the luxury.

Letting her feet carry her wherever they wished without consulting her mind helped. She felt the calm she so cherished settle back into her muscles, slowly but steadily. She had almost lulled herself into a dreamy state when a cheerful voice called out to her.

“There you are!”

Trixie followed the sound, turned to meet its source.

Lady Katya was soaked from head to toe, but her smile was a ray of light burning through the dark clouds. Trixie turned her head to see if there was someone behind her.

Lady Katya was greatly amused by that.

“Yoo-hoo! Over here! There’s no one else around, silly!” 

She laughed, waving her arms around. She was creating a small puddle where she stood, but did not appear uncomfortable in the least.

Trixie still struggled to respond. She smiled nervously, waved back to tide her over until her voice returned. There was too much space between them, so she cautiously bridged the gap, stepping towards Lady Katya so that she wouldn’t need to shout so. Lady Katya needn’t strain her voice.

“Did you—“

Trixie wasn’t able to finish her question before Lady Katya’s companion appeared beside her charge with a loud pop.

“You little rascal! Hold still for a moment, I can’t believe you would do this, you’ll catch your death in cold. I’ve been longing for death myself since we bonded, you sweet little fool. Can’t leave your side for a second…”

Katya giggled as the faerie enveloped her in a warm light, drying her right up.

“Thank you, Ginger! But you really couldn’t expect me to stay trapped indoors much longer. It’s only water, it won’t kill me!”

“Katya, you are not invincible, you could get sick! I could have protected you from the rain!”

“You wouldn’t have let me out!”

For all that Ginger chided her, she really did seem fond of Katya. It was lovely to see, but Trixie wasn’t sure she was needed any longer. She curtsied politely to signal her intention, and turned to leave.

She had miscalculated, as she was soon being held in place by Katya’s strong grip.

“Wait! Don’t go! Adore said you wanted to see me, and I remember you from that day at the lake so I was hoping we could talk!”

Trixie stopped and turned back around.

Katya was smiling, her gaze focused and expectant.

“You know you’re awful quiet, but you’re very beautiful up close.”

Trixie laughed at the strangeness of it all.

***

Katya was born into a traveling performance troupe. Growing up, she had no fixed home but for her parents and the small community they belonged to. That could explain why she found it so difficult to be still, why she needed to be on the move as much as possible. She could be convinced to focus by lively conversation, though she preferred it if she could stand and gesture to her heart’s content while she spoke. If Trixie played a soothing melody for her, she could lie still well enough. Sometimes they would sit on the grass while Trixie played and Katya rested her head next to her. Trixie wasn’t sure how they were so well suited, as she was not the most lively of companions, but they laughed together and Trixie found that being around Katya raised her spirits enough so that she could keep up with her energy.

Katya’s parents thought they were doing her a kindness in letting her be whisked away into a golden destiny, into opportunities they could never have given her. Katya had agreed to leave them because they were so earnest in their certainty that she would be happier for it, but she was happiest with her family. They could never make a queen out of her, but they had gifted her with the opportunity to see a great wealth of places, and to interact with a wide variety of people. She had learned to converse in many languages, and loved delighting crowds with her acrobatics. Trixie had never seen a human being contort their body the way Katya could, and though she couldn’t quite describe the full spectrum of feelings that bloomed within her when she watched, she was indeed delighted.

Katya said that if she became a queen, she would build a space for her parents to perform in front of great crowds in her kingdom so that they could benefit from visiting her. Ginger had given her a glass so that she could see them and pinpoint their location when she missed them too much. They could not look back at her, but it was her most prized possession.

Trixie became used to the sound that signalled Ginger’s appearance, something like a branch snapping off a tree. Sometimes, Katya would be waiting outside of Violet’s suites to see her, but more often than not she would be found by Ginger and led to see her friend. She spent even less time than she used to around her princess, but she had not been reprimanded for it. Trixie thought she saw Violet smile a little one evening, when Katya had dropped by asking if they could have tea together, but it was difficult to tell.

They spent every moment they could together. Trixie had never felt as seen as she did when she was around Katya, and she hoped Katya benefited from her company as well. Judging by the way she smiled when they were together, and how she entwined their fingers when they walked so as not to lose track of her even without a crowd to navigate, Trixie thought she very well might.

***

It was only a matter of time before Violet and Valentina established an artist’s salon. Violet often spoke about how becoming a patron of the arts was one of her ambitions as a ruler; her bond with Valentina was forged out of a mutual appreciation for all things fine and beautiful. They were bound to dream up some scheme to indulge in their mutual love, with all the free time they had as true born royalty at their disposal. 

They were joined in their endeavor by Lady Sasha, a striking if not classically beautiful princess from the North. Lady Sasha was a lady of few words, but she exuded calm and commanded respect in her own quiet way. Early on in the year, someone made the suggestion that she ought to be known as Lady Sasha the Bald, so as to distinguish her from Lady Sasha the Beauty, a lively farmer’s daughter. This was met with an outpouring of disapproval from all but the lady herself, who only laughed and agreed that she was, indeed, bald. She was always followed by a graceful dog, whom Fame identified as her fae companion.

The three ladies pooled their combined social circles, such as they were when at least two out of the three were reserved to the point where hosting the salon doubled as an attempt to expand their circle, to put together an evening where all were welcome to display their artistic talents. Those known to be exceptional were approached personally; Sasha had guaranteed the presence of her particular friend, Lady Shea, who was an excellent dancer and poet. How, or if, she would combine both skills would be a sight to see.

Valentina approached Trixie before even Violet could, though it was entirely possible that Violet knew her friend intended to ask and refrained from doing it herself so as not to harass her. She found her, with her train of ladies at her heels, while Trixie kept Katya company during her morning stretch. Valentina gave Katya a nod for a greeting, but the lady was on a mission. She asked Trixie if she could please participate in their little talent show, that it would be  _ much _ appreciated, that there was  _ no _ pressure whatsoever, but that she was  _ very _ excited to hear her play again.

If all went according to plan, it would be a far larger audience than Trixie was used to. She was inclined to agree, as she was starting to find that she was very susceptible to flattery, and the prospect of a large group of people appreciating her talents. Katya was also grinning at her, nodding in encouragement.

She had struggled to contain her excitement-by-proxy until Valentina bid them farewell and removed herself, and her company, from the scene.

“You’ll do it, right?” Katya had chosen to stand on her hands while questioning her. She was oddly skilled at multitasking.

“Of course,” she said. “Who am I to deprive a waiting audience?”

Trixie had to rush over to make sure she was quite alright after she fell over, laughing.

“Hey! What if we team up?” Katya said, once she had recovered.

“Do you play an instrument?” Trixie asked. She had somehow wound up with Katya’s head on her lap, so she could play with a strand of her hair. She knew it was alright, they had grown close enough that Trixie had stayed in her quarters one night when they had spent too much time talking for her to sneak back to her own room.

“No, but maybe if you play and I… Dance? Wouldn’t that be amusing?”

Katya’s eyes shone. Really, she should have been approached to perform on her own. She missed having an audience, Trixie thought, which would be reasonable for someone who grew up delighting in being an entertainer.

They could work something out.

***

The air had developed a subtle chill by the evening of the salon. It hadn’t quite started to feel like autumn yet, but there was a change in the air. If one squinted, they might have seen a few leaves giving up on life for the year, slowly turning a brilliant orange.

Violet, Sasha, and Valentina had secured a room with a small stage and enough space for their estimated number of guests. Apparently, it had manifested when it was required, but in a palace as large as the Academy it was likelier that the room had sat unnoticed until someone bothered to look. This could not have been the first time such a room was needed. The ladies’ companions created small, floating lights to serve as guides to and from the room. They conjured up the bulk of the furniture, though sometimes that just meant that they transformed existing pieces into something more comfortable.

Trixie almost regretted being so averse to socializing. The ladies who showed their talents were, to a one, quite exceptional, and seemed rather interesting. She singled out Lady Shangela as someone she wanted to get to know better; an excellent storyteller, Lady Shangela spoke of her childhood working alongside her mother at a tavern, where she was crowned queen by its patrons for her lively wit and charismatic personality. Trixie thought she would bring great cheer to the kingdom that accepted her as their queen.

Adore sang for them, conveying with her voice the beauty of the sea, her home and mother since birth. Trixie missed it deeply just from hearing her, despite never having been to the seaside in her life. She hadn’t known her friend was so talented. Perhaps she’d been neglecting her, and ought to amend that.

Katya held her hand while they watched the other performances, or listened to discussions in between. She had admitted that though a seasoned performer, she still got nervous when waiting to take the stage. Trixie squeezed her hand, rubbing circles on the back with her thumb.

They’d been preparing for weeks. It didn’t affect the amount of time they spent together, really, since they were already connected at the hip in a metaphorical sense. Ginger had started watching them together with a pensive look, and wouldn’t explain why her face looked that way even when Katya pestered her to the point of exasperation. 

Trixie found that falling asleep with Katya awakened something strange in her, especially after an evening watching her stretch and move in a way she had to admit was… sensual. She didn’t want to bring it up until she could identify it, and she didn’t want to dwell on it long enough to come to a conclusion on it, so she would keep her peace until further notice. It felt nice to hold her hand, and she liked the dreamy look on Katya’s face when she played for her.

She hadn’t quite wanted to let go when it was time for them to perform, but it had to be done.

Fame helped her get a place to sit on the stage set up, as none had been needed for the last lady who used it. She squeezed her shoulder as if this was an important event for her as well, as if she believed that Trixie needed the support of a parent, and Trixie appreciated it despite the fact that it was an entirely casual evening. Katya prepared herself, signaling when she was ready. 

There was still some chatter in the audience. It was said that this wasn’t unusual even in a real theatre situation, so Trixie bid herself to pay no mind to the noise. She started playing her lute, going for something lively.

Their act was, essentially, Trixie following Katya’s lead as best as she could while she, in turn, would do a curious interpretive dance according to what she heard. Of course, having such a talent in twisting herself up every which way as she did, Katya would inevitably end up in a handstand, or a split, at some point. It made for a somewhat incongruous effect, but Trixie enjoyed it from her vantage point. She liked the challenge of adapting to Katya’s choices on the fly, and how if she were to throw a discordant note at her partner, Katya would adapt to it. Trixie was hard pressed not to be entirely taken in by Katya due to personal bias, and it warmed her to hear her draw gasps from the other ladies.

They received some enthusiastic applause (Adore, Pearl, and Ginger being the loudest in their appreciation), and a few confused looks. It was difficult to tell from afar, but Fame might have shed a tear. Trixie’s favourite reaction, though, was Katya grinning and bounding towards her, swooping her up in the heat of the moment, almost as an encore.

“Trixie! Trixie this was so fun!”

Trixie laughed and held her tight. She thought, briefly, that she wanted nothing more than to keep this girl smiling like that.

  
  
  



	3. slow dancing under stars full of sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violet's gown was loosely based on her Season 8 crowning masterpiece.
> 
> Katya's like a Lady Sybil wearing harem pants, but in red! Because of course it's red.

Katya said that she spent a lot of her childhood up in Snow Country, where Lady Sasha’s family ruled. It was difficult for an outsider to piece her past together after so many retellings and inconsistent facts, but it was possible that Katya’s ancestry could be traced back to the North. Trixie vaguely remembered mention of a grandparent they would visit when she was small, whose passing heralded much fewer visits. It was more sensible for them to chase warmth, perhaps, what with their profession, so the presence of a relative would explain things to a more satisfactory degree if true.

Trixie had first heard of this the night of the salon, when Lady Sasha approached them and subsequently engaged in what was probably hours of conversation. Trixie couldn’t be certain about how long they spoke, as she was quite tired by then and likely dozed off against Katya’s side, with fingers stroking her hair softly as their owner began chattering brightly to a brand new friend.

While she was still conscious, Trixie listened as the two bonded over a place they both held as precious in their hearts, with its strange red flowers that bloomed right through sheets of snow. Legend had it that they had been conjured to please an ancient fae queen, who had long since moved to the separate realm the fae now called home. The greater part of their numbers may have left, but ancient magic would remain always if it had the chance to lay down roots.

As a special case, Katya had resided at the Academy some years more than the royal ladies. She could no longer be disappointed by the fact that there was no hope of seeing all that snow in the wintertime, not as long as she remained where she was. At the very least, she was able to use her special glass to take a visual tour of those Northern lands she remembered so fondly. 

Katya had never tried using her glass to see anything other than what her parents and the rest of the company were doing, she said she cared more about easing her loneliness than testing the limits of Ginger’s gift to her. She was properly amazed when she attempted it and was able to show Trixie the famous red flowers, so stark against the pure white backdrop.

Katya offered to let Trixie see what her father might be doing, knowing the state of affairs between her and her mother. Trixie declined, not wanting to watch as her father sired bastards and wasted their meagre income at some tavern. She did ask for a look at what Kim was up to, and found that she was in transit to an unknown destination, using a bundle as a cushion so she could sleep. Trixie hoped she would return soon. She longed to see her, though without the urgency she had felt when she did not have Katya in her life.

By the time the first fleeting snowfall of winter came upon them, memories of a time when she did not have Katya by her side had become less present in Trixie’s mind. She didn’t want to think of the day when they would have to part ways, though she once quipped that when it happened, Katya would be able to look upon her through her glass. Rather than amuse her, as her comments usually did, Katya fell into a sulk that only dissipated once Trixie had held her for some time.

***

The Winter Ball was held on the cusp of spring, but winter wasn’t much more than a sprinkling of snow here and there at the Academy anyhow, so it was fair enough to use that name. More importantly, the princes who would be coming for the Ball were just as likely to have seasonal events at their courts, events that would supersede travelling miles to take a gander at the marriage market. Any lady aged one-and-twenty was gently encouraged to attend, though attendance was strictly required of the special cases.

Kim had returned with bundles upon bundles of fine fabric. She only had time to give Trixie a quick hug before she was shuffled into a room with Violet, to help her decide on the concept for their gowns. It was more than a month before the Ball, but Trixie wouldn’t scoff at the early start to the work when it would give Kim much needed time to construct a masterpiece for Violet, as well as her two ladies.

Before their journey, Trixie and Pearl had been provided with gowns that complemented Violet’s style, to create a visual harmony between them all at the Academy. Trixie’s dresses had needed to be altered to the reality of her figure, and she often struck a discordant note to Violet and Pearl’s better matched ensembles if they all happened to be in the same space. It couldn’t be helped when the two of them dressed together, as they did most things, and Trixie was not able to coordinate with choices she was not privy to. Since the Ball was a one night event, and gowns were being made with the purpose of making a good showing there, they would finally look how they were supposed to: the princess dressed in splendour, flanked by two well-appointed ladies in, if not identical, semi-matching gowns that relate in concept to her own.

For Violet, that was the whole purpose of the evening. She had no reason to be excited about the princes’ arrival, not since she’d already made up her mind about her future husband and was engaged in convincing him to agree.

“She’s just about done wearing him down,” Pearl told her, without pausing her needlework.

“How do you think they’ll manage?” Trixie asked, tactless out of genuine curiosity. “Everyone knows he’s the only child in his family. I thought Violet would go for a younger son, she’s better off not leaving her kingdom, isn’t she?”

“Well, genius, if you had paid attention and had any knowledge of geography you’d know his lands are right next to ours,” replied Pearl. “They’ll travel to see each other from time to time, but mostly handle their kingdoms’ affairs separately. The heir will get both, and all of our descendants will then live in a country with a coastline.”

Trixie nodded. “And this is what she wants?”

Pearl sighed. “I don’t know, Trix. She has to marry  _ someone _ . She talks about it like it’s a game of strategy.”

Pearl stuck her needle into her work. Trixie could see her hand trembling.

“What will become of you?”

“She says there will always be a place for me by her side and that I shouldn’t worry about being sent away with nowhere to go, like kings often do with  _ their _ mistresses. You know she’d never hear of being questioned for her actions,” Pearl sighed. “I’ll always be taken care of, as long as she lives, and she will do her best to provide for me if I have to carry on after she goes. That’s all I can ask for, really. For her to love me as best as she can. She... has to be the queen.”

Tired of conversation, Pearl went back to her work. Trixie moved closer, so she could let her siphon off some of her warmth. 

***

Kim forbade Trixie from helping her with the preparations for the Ball, and was so deeply engrossed in the project that she only had hope of seeing her if she needed to take measurements. It was too important an endeavor to double as a chance to socialize, and she had been provided with more qualified assistants. Trixie was decent with a needle, but she was no master. So, she continued to keep Katya company and mind her affairs as usual.

Katya was determined to ignore the Ball for as long as possible. Ginger had begun a campaign of trying to cajole her into placing some importance in the event, as it would mark her debut as a viable candidate for a royal marriage. Her heart wasn’t entirely in it, but she expressed that those above her in authority had a vested interest in Katya’s progress as a future queen consort. She had, after all, been separated from her family and friends for four long years, and this was her opportunity to reap the rewards.

Katya laughed, replying that she considered meeting Ginger and Trixie plenty rewarding.

Ginger glanced in the direction of the heavens, perhaps for guidance. As none was forthcoming, she sighed and went back to playing the mother to Katya’s recalcitrant child.

“Katya, I’m being serious with you. Your progress has been lacking, or so I’ve been told. You must show that you learned something from being here. I’m sure there will be a prince, somewhere, who will look past the hopeless mess that you insist in being and realize what a treasure you are nonetheless. But it would make me  _ so _ very happy if you would make an effort for me.”

Pausing for gravity, Ginger braced herself for further opposition.

“And we need to make you a new dress.”

Katya wrinkled her nose, with all the distaste of a lady who liked to spend as much time as she could in trousers. Being so athletically-inclined lady, fashionable dresses hardly suited her. Sometimes, to help with her daily exercises, she would fashion her skirts into something like a pair of trousers, leading Ginger to crow about how it was quite useless to waste time mending that which Katya would only ruin again at her earliest opportunity.

“How stiff will it be?”

“It doesn’t have to be,” said Ginger, with a sympathetic smile. “I can make allowances for comfort, if that will make you more amenable.”

Katya, nevertheless, continued to ignore the situation to the best of her ability, preferring to take Trixie on a walk in the light snow than to linger in that conversation for much longer than she had to. The temperature was such that the snowflakes vanished on impact with the ground. Still, they held each other close out of their own preference. 

After that, they relaxed by the fire with hot apple cider, and drifted off to bed when it got too late.

“I’m getting a new dress made, too,” said Trixie, with Katya safe in her arms.

“For the Ball? You’ll be there?”

“Of course. I am of age, and I cannot allow my princess to go unaccompanied. Not for such a special occasion.”

Katya suddenly became more alert.

“Are you going to be married too?”

Trixie snorted.

“No, not yet,” she said. “No sensible prince would cast their eye on a lady in waiting, not for marriage at least.”

Katya hummed, settled back down to rest her head against Trixie’s chest.

“No sensible prince would ever look at me either,” she muttered. “I’m too loony, even by royal standards.”

She then mumbled something about Trixie being the softest pillow she could have, and promptly fell asleep.

***

As expected of anything Kim got her hands on, Violet’s gown was a work of fine art. It was a deep blue, with floral embroidery and a wide skirt. She could use the neck as a cowl, and when she pulled it up over her dark curls she looked positively regal.

Trixie and Pearl were pillars of white and gold; their gowns had more narrow skirts, and were pale cream in colour with golden embroidery. Their hair was done up similar to Violet’s, with little ornamental stars woven in. Trixie had never felt so elegant in her life. She had to be gently pried away from the looking glass before she wound up forever staring at her reflection in shock.

The evening of Violet’s selection had been stately, but it was nothing like the Winter Ball at the Academy in splendour. For the first time, however, Trixie did not feel underdressed. Sharp eyes would notice she was dressed just like another lady, and a small thing like that was enough to betray her place in the social hierarchy. A princess’ ladies were not at the Academy for their own advantage, for all that they could enjoy their stay just as well. It was better for Trixie, though, since she could enjoy being beautiful for an evening without the pressure of making herself agreeable to a potential suitor.

Adore had been indecisive about attending. Like many of the non-human ladies, she had no real need or interest in making a marriage alliance, and too many of the attendees would be focusing on that to be satisfying companions. She deigned to bless them with her presence in the end, because she loved a good party. She had little shells woven into her hair by some art, and wore a loose, shimmery green gown. Trixie talked with her for a good portion of the night, and found a space with which to dance a little. Adore lacked grace on land, all the while swearing she was an excellent dancer in the water, but as always her good humour made up for her shortcomings as a partner.

Ginger and Katya had reached a compromise in terms of her evening attire. In order to allow her full freedom of movement, Ginger concocted silk trousers made presentable with a delicate bodice, and a diadem for her hair. It was all done up in shades of red, Katya’s favourite colour. Ginger’s supervision of her charge had lapsed in regards to actually  _ dressing _ her hair. It sprouted, loose and wild, around the ornament she would fiddle with if her hands were free.

Katya had explained that she had agreed to focus on dancing with the princes, or at least talking with them, until around half past eleven, at which point she could quit the ballroom if she wished. She often called upon Ginger to conjure up the time for her, sometimes while a bemused prince looked on. Trixie once caught her showing another how she could coax her leg over her shoulder. 

They would often catch each other’s eye, as Trixie found it far too easy to track Katya’s movements, and Katya would pause to find her in the crowd if she was no longer where she had last seen her. Dancing and talking with Adore, or holding Pearl’s hand when Violet allowed a few lucky princes the privilege of dancing with her, prevented her from staring too much. 

Adore had whispered to her about how her lover was approaching as they spoke, so Trixie only smiled when a pair of hands covered her eyes from behind. She felt like as long as it was that pair of hands, she would never be startled.

“Are you quite tired of dancing?” Trixie said, as Katya granted her use of her eyes once again.

“I’m tired of all the fun I’m having,” Katya replied, spinning her so that they were facing each other. Trixie studied her face carefully, looking for and finding signs of stress. There was a tightness about her smile, radiant as it was despite itself, and her eyes were stretched a touch too wide.

“Why don’t we run away for a bit?”

Trixie was glad to see a sliver of the tension melt away from Katya’s face as she nodded with a grin.

***

Katya’s grip on Trixie’s hand was tight as she let herself be pulled outside. The night was clear, and they had both been covered in a warming charm from having run into Ginger on their way out. Trixie loved the stars at the Academy; the sky was not dotted with stars so much as the stars were dotted with small patches of sky. They walked into the gardens, close enough to the hall that they could still hear the music, much softened by distance. They found a patch of grass they could both lie down on if they pleased. Katya didn’t care about any harm that might come to her clothing from plopping herself on the ground. Even though Trixie did care a little bit, as her dress was very fine and had been made by a dear friend, she let herself drop as well, kicking off her slippers, and letting them lay at her side.

Trixie watched as Katya slowly settled into a relaxed state, her smile melting away as a consequence, her features softening.

“I’m trying to think of a word to describe how you look tonight,” said Katya, barely above a whisper.

“Are you?”

Katya hummed an affirmative.

“I’m torn between heavenly and… Oh, I can’t remember the other one.”

Trixie giggled. “I’ll take heavenly.”

Katya rolled onto her side, reached out to touch one of the stars in Trixie’s hair. Trixie focused her mind on the faint music still seeping from inside. She thought of how she’d watched princes attempt to lead Katya in dance after dance. She hummed along to the tune. Katya’s fingers traced down from her hairline to her jaw.

Trixie touched the corner of one of Katya’s eyes with her thumb. They were both lying on their side, facing each other. Trixie loved the colour of Katya’s eyes. She was reminded of Adore singing a love song to the sea so many nights before as she looked at them.

“Would you dance with me?”

Trixie didn’t know why Katya said it so softly, and she’d never seen her so still unless she’d been lulled her into that state. But Trixie nodded, raised herself back to her feet, and turned to pull Katya up as well.

They couldn’t quite figure out who would do the leading, but they could follow each other’s steps well enough. Trixie had never had a dance partner that was as short as Katya was compared to her, and Katya was not wholly proficient with the ballroom style of dancing. Trixie didn’t care about any of that, only that the music was sweet, and that they slowly came together into an embrace.

“My lady,” whispered Katya, and Trixie’s heart spilled the secret it had been hiding rather poorly from her consciousness.

Trixie’s very first kiss took place under moonlight, as did her second and third. Katya soon held her hand and led her back to her chambers.

  
  



	4. where angels fear to tread

Trixie hadn’t been raised to expect love in her future. Her father was doing a dismal enough job of caring for his family in life, so when he would finally drink himself into the grave she could not expect to be looked after. Therefore, marriage was a necessity, and as her parents taught her in their own way, there was no need for love in marriage. She had always trained herself to expect from life what it could realistically give her, so as not to expire on the spot with despair. 

None of that mattered to Trixie anymore as she and Katya plunged into loving each other instead. It was easy, for a while. Trixie’s days had always been entirely her own, and her life was on hold for as long as she was at the Academy anyway; Katya had practice enough ignoring the inconvenient shadow of expectations to last her another few weeks. Spring did away with the slight chill of winter, and though the pretty snowflakes were missed, mornings by the lake were pleasant once again. Trixie would watch Katya stretch, would watch her bend over backwards into a bridge and hold that position with much better insight into what she felt when she watched than before. She would pull Katya into a lingering kiss and stay a moment longer to take in the fresh spring air while Katya scampered off to lessons she couldn’t give a fig about.

When they lay together at night, Katya would talk about what her ideal future looked like at that point. Whatever shred of willingness Katya had possessed to fulfill her end of the bargain she made when she agreed to be educated at the Academy, even if only to benefit her family, had eroded completely. All she wanted, she said, was to travel and perform. She wanted to live freely, to see even more of the world than she had already because there  _ had _ to be more, to leave the cage she felt she had been placed in.

She hoped Trixie would go with her, that she could show her every corner of the world, and not just through a magical glass. She wanted to pluck a Northern flower and let Trixie wear it in her hair, to bathe in the sea and meet some of Adore’s people if possible, to have Trixie play the harp for her parents so they could hear how talented her lady was.

That became Trixie’s ideal vision of the future, too. She wanted to take Katya’s hand, let her lead her everywhere she might wish to go, and stay by her side to soothe her to sleep when the sun set. She had learned that Katya slept better with a little help, and was more than willing to give it. She wanted to meet the family that Katya loved so well, and would gladly consent to playing for them. If it were possible she wished to visit Pearl in the palace, where she would surely live when all was said and done, to bring her delightful little things from her travels. 

She had never wanted anything more. She could not remember having wanted anything at all before this.

***

As Ginger had predicted, there existed a prince who could look past Katya’s unwillingness to act en princesse despite her instructor’s best efforts and desire her nonetheless. Madame Visage, minder and haranguer of Academy-provided fae companions per Ginger’s description, paid them a personal visit to bring the good tidings.

It had been a great, but pleasant, surprise for the Academy that they had word of a potential suitor for a lady they had, quite frankly, been worrying about. Trixie listened to Katya and Ginger’s audience with Madame Visage from behind Katya’s bedroom door. She could not see the great lady, but the sound of her voice made her insides squirm a little. She sounded like a creature who could be soft as a lamb if she chose to, but would not hesitate to rend her to pieces if she saw fit to do that instead.

Katya was to be established in the South, where snow would never trouble her again, and where she could listen to siren song from the safety of her palace. Her husband would build a grand stage where her family could find an audience. She could watch them from her very own box, but would have to save her own skills for him. He may be persuaded to let her accompany him on royal tours. As it is cruel to sever the bond of a fae and her charge by force, no matter the circumstance in which it was established, Ginger would be permitted to accompany her into her grand future. Common wisdom said that a fae companion could make a significant difference when battling the perils of childbirth, so she could breathe easy about that, too.

“Of course,” bellowed the commanding voice of Madame Visage. “You must bid farewell to the ladies you have become fond of during your time here. You cannot expect to see much of them, as they are to rule over their own kingdoms, but you may write to them. It may be difficult, though, to maintain a friendship with a foreign queen’s lady. If I may give you some friendly advice, I suggest you sever ties Lady Beatrice sooner rather than later.”

Trixie could picture Katya’s face in her mind’s eye.

“And if I won’t have him?”

“I would be inclined to call you a fool,” said Madame Visage. “Why would you have gone to the trouble of coming here if not to marry a prince? In your world, there is no other way a girl of your origins could get a kingdom. Is that not what you wanted, or what you agreed to when you accepted our invitation? There are others who would have you as a mistress, but we promised your parents a throne for their only daughter. We like to keep our word.”

Madame Visage continued after a pause.

“You should not be a mere mistress. Think about that. As for the necessary preparations, we will soon have a miniature painted, to be sent to your prince. I will let Ginger know so you can be adequately prepared.”

Madame Visage complimented Ginger on the tea. Trixie waited until she could hear the door open and close, then crept outside the bedroom. Katya’s quarters were rather small, but there was a corner from which she could press herself against and peek into the sitting room.

She could make out Katya seated on her sofa, with Ginger beside her, but only from behind. She had no way of knowing if they had been seated so close together while Madame Visage was visiting, or if Ginger had noticed Katya’s mood growing darker and decided to wrap an arm around her then. Neither of them made a sound for quite some time.

“Katya, that was badly done.”

Ginger kept an arm around Katya’s shoulder, her voice soft yet stern.

Katya bowed her head.

“I don’t want him,” she said, simply. Trixie wanted to run to her, to drag her back to the bedroom and raise her spirits.

“Madame Visage is right,” said Ginger, rubbing circles on her back in Trixie’s stead. “It would be a waste for you to leave without the future you deserve.”

“What’s so great about being a princess?” cried Katya. She pushed Ginger’s arm away.

“You will have everything,” Ginger persisted, as if she’d practiced it softly to herself many times.

Katya stood to face her.

“You know what I want,” she said. “And you know this prince will never give it to me. I’ll be a prisoner.”

“A prisoner!” Ginger said, with a scoff. “Do you even know how many girls would kill to be in your position right now? Countless! And you’re saying you’ll be a prisoner because you’ve decided you’re in love with a common girl—“

“Trixie is _not_ common!”

The words rang throughout the room. 

“Katya,” Ginger started, after she had collected herself sufficiently. “Think of yourself as royalty, because that is what you came here to be. Never mind the fact that in Trixie’s world, in the world you’ll soon be a part of, marriage between two ladies is no common thing. She knows you could never be fully devoted to each other.”

She stopped to take a deep breath, and to course-correct the direction her speech was taking.

“You are approaching marriage as a princess would, and I know Trixie is no peasant but her father is only a baron. It’s not kind, and perhaps it’s not right, but this would make her an unsuitable match for you. I don’t dislike her, and I know she amuses you, but my job is not to suit your whims. My job is to  _ take care _ of you, and to ensure that you will get the throne that was promised to you.”

She softens her tone, taking on a more earnest, loving affect.

“Don’t think that you don’t deserve to be adored as a queen, that you need to settle for a difficult life with a girl who can hardly benefit from her own high station in life. Your parents thought so, or else how could they have let you be parted from them?”

Trixie thought she could feel her heart contract into itself as Ginger spoke. A rogue tear rolled down her cheek, then another, and she let them take their course. She steeled herself against more, and continued to listen. She could not fault Ginger for being right, but it would take time to rationalize her hurt feelings away.

She did not seek Katya’s gaze, but for a moment she found it. Katya turned it back to Ginger, before she could be compelled to turn her head and find Trixie there as well. Trixie wouldn’t put it past a faerie’s talents to perceive the presence of a spy, though Ginger made no discernible effort to search for her.

“But Ginger,” said Katya, in a plaintive tone. “What if I don’t think of myself as royalty? If I listen to my heart… Can’t I approach it as myself? Why must I pretend to be something I’m not?”

“In that case,  _ Lady  _ Beatrice would be considered your superior.”

Having had enough, Katya then opted to flee the scene. Ginger called her name fruitlessly as she sped towards Trixie’s inadequate hiding spot. Taking her by the hand, Katya pulled them both back into the bedroom. Once inside, Trixie sat at the edge of the bed and watched Katya attempt to slough off her restlessness by pacing furiously.

She wanted to make Katya feel at ease, but could think of no other method than to let her tire herself out with her walking and come to her then. In the meantime, she put a hand over her own heart and tried to will herself easy. She could clearly picture herself following Katya to the very ends of the world, but any fool with an imagination can envision themselves as the hero in a story. Any fool can find in them the capacity to dream, but there is no medicine for the bitterness of reality.

Katya was the one to break the silence.

“Would you have me, even if I’m not good enough for you?”

Trixie nodded. “Only if you would do the same.”

“I’ve—“ Katya struggled to get the words out. “I’ve missed home a lot less since I met you. I can’t bear to lose you.”

Trixie stood, walked over to her so she could hold her dear face in her hands.

“Katya,” she said. “If I get my way, I will never leave you. And if we are to be separated—If you were to return to me, I would not hesitate to take your hand.”

Katya took Trixie’s hands, still cupping her face, and gently pushed them down while squeezing them in hers. She let go of one of her hands so she could free it up to caress her cheek. She kissed the tip of her nose, and let Trixie meet her lips with her own the second time. She settled her free hand on Trixie’s waist and led her back to bed.

They remained together, laid out in the sheets for the rest of the day. Ginger had the delicacy not to disturb them, and it was awfully kind of the world to quiet down and let them be as well. Lovers, especially those to whom fate has no design to be kind to in the end, deserve leave to be fully occupied in each other every once in a while.

***

It just so happened that Katya’s intended bridegroom was Lady Valentina’s eldest brother. As soon as Valentina heard the news, it became her order of business to impose her most tender feelings of friendship on Katya at every possible opportunity. She had scarcely spared a glance in her direction throughout their acquaintance, other than to compliment her on a _stimulating_ performance at their little talent show back in autumn, but ever since she was singled out to marry her dearest brother she had become as good as a sister.

Katya was suddenly awash in invitations to join Valentina in some amusement or other most days, and although Trixie’s presence was tolerated, it was grudgingly so. Valentina’s friendly attitude towards Trixie had shifted slightly towards enmity in response to her increased regard for Katya. Her smiles were colder than they had ever been when Trixie was around.

“My dear, it really is baffling to me,” Valentina said, addressing Violet when they were all gathered at tea one afternoon. “How you allow one of your ladies to pay so many attentions to a foreign lady, when her upkeep falls upon you. I don’t believe such a thing has ever been seen before!”

She had only invited Violet and her small entourage, stressing that Trixie’s presence would be  _ most _ appreciated, and so she had been summoned to fulfill this baffling request. Pearl had been missing her, too, so Trixie had been obliged to attend in any case. Her cheeks burned upon hearing Valentina’s words.

Violet appeared unperturbed. She coolly remarked that she preferred Valentina’s company when she did not pry as much into her private affairs.

“It is most unusual, though!” cried Valentina, not at all discouraged from pressing on. “Are you not the least bit bothered?”

“I am not,” said Violet. “So long as she does not cause too much trouble, I would not prevent my lady from making friends where she chooses.”

“I have observed the pair of them to be far too intimate,” Valentina pressed on, now choosing to speak in a whisper only slightly lower than her natural speaking voice. Pearl had, by then, drawn Trixie closer to her side and was glaring daggers in Valentina’s direction.

Violet sighed.

“If you are worried about your brother’s match, it is outside both mine and Lady Beatrice’s best efforts to prevent it, and I would not presume to even attempt such an endeavor. As for myself, I only wish to run my household how I choose without challenge, as it is entirely my own business.”

“I apologize if I injure you with what I am about to say,” said Valentina, depositing her teacup on its dish with noticeable force. “But if you had been blessed with siblings, you would understand how much their happiness might mean to you. Alas, your mother passed away before you could, and now you will never know.”

As much as she regretted them, Valentina paid no mind to the reaction her words caused before pressing on. All pretense had been dropped, and her every word was laced with ice.

“My brother’s heart is set on this match. You could stand to be less accepting of your lady’s conduct when it has ceased to be your private business.”

She looked past Pearl, who was at the precipice of despising her from the look in her eyes, over to her intended target.

“Lady Beatrice, you must be better equipped to understand me than your gentle mistress. You have a cherished sister, and I can imagine you would do  _ anything _ in your power to ensure her happiness.”

Violet did not allow any further discussion. She politely thanked Valentina for the tea, and excused her party, stating that she did not wish to invite any further blows upon their friendship.

Once they had reached their quarters, she took Trixie aside.

“I do not wish to take away your happiness,” she said, looking her in the eye for once. “But it would be prudent for you to reduce the amount of time you spend with Lady Katya. I will call Kim back from her travels to make it easier on you.”

Having no choice but to comply, Trixie nodded stiffly. Violet let her go after vocalizing her intention to call on Katya herself, so as not to implicate Trixie in making the decision.

***

Katya was becoming resigned to her fate, and was thus fading before Trixie’s eyes. The liveliness of spirit that had so attracted her from the start was much diminished by the thought her impending nuptials. When she was able to spend time with Katya in private, it was most often for the purpose of engaging in desperate lovemaking, and holding her while she contemplated her future in fear.

Having Violet tell her that Trixie was obliged to distance herself at her request had shaken Katya, though she did not blame Trixie for it. It did make it more difficult for any professions of eternal love and constancy to hold much water, for as sincere as they were neither was in full control of keeping her word. It broke Trixie’s heart to see her so unhappy, and to have no possible way to ease her pain. Her own pain was buried as deep as she could, in the manner she was accustomed to whenever she had cause for unhappiness.

Valentina had presented Trixie with a beautiful harp, as a consolation gift for her sacrifice. She had included a note to express her continued regard for her, and to apologize for her harsh words. She was pleased to see that she was the sort of girl who could listen to reason, and thanked her for her part in ensuring her brother’s happiness.

With the suspicion that she would regret it, Trixie included a promise to play her new harp at teatime in her thank you note, so that Valentina would not think her ungrateful. She had hoped it would be ignored as a mere formality, but Valentina was quick to hold her to it. It was requested that she accompany Violet and the rest of her household to their next scheduled teatime engagement. Since Violet had been true to her word in summoning Kim, and now encouraged her to act as an extra lady-in-waiting out of sympathy towards Trixie, acquiescing to Valentina’s request did not trouble her too much. The harp could rot after a single use.

Trixie had never considered Valentina to be the vindictive sort, not until recently. Sure, she tended towards more extravagance than was required to denote her status, and was as excessively proud as any member of royalty might be, but never  _ actively _ malicious. She hoped that there was no intent to harm on Valentina’s part when, upon arriving at teatime, she noticed that Katya had also been invited. Yet, considering her treatment of her as of late, Trixie would not put it past her.

“I hope you will allow me to include my dearest sister,” said Valentina, airily. “I have only ever had brothers, so it is quite a novel thing for me to enjoy the company of a sister. I trust you will be so kind as to not begrudge me of the pleasure.”

Trixie felt a derisive pang of sympathy for Valentina’s ornamental ladies, who surely could act as sisters if their mistress allowed them to. Pearl and Kim, who had been briefed on the situation by Pearl upon arrival, each took one of Trixie’s hands in case her feelings might overtake her. Katya had stood upon catching sight of her, eyes hopeful, but rushing over to embrace her as she wished to would be most unwise. Lady Valentina had decided to amuse herself by testing Trixie’s resolve, and Trixie was not one to bow before a challenge by nature. She cast tender eyes at Katya as she was led to be seated with her friends, too far to spare a single word for her beloved.

Violet used all the composure that had been drilled into her since birth not to show her displeasure, though Trixie could only guess at the source of her ill humour. Perhaps the tea was not to her liking. Valentina was engrossed in conversation with her dear sister Katya, who looked mildly distressed as she nodded along to Valentina’s advice about how to navigate life in her kingdom. Her eyes often darted over to Trixie, who was kept engaged by Pearl and Kim until Valentina urged her to keep her promise. Thus, she was led to her shiny new harp, which had made its way to Valentina’s sitting room through Fame’s kindness.

It was mortifying, but if Trixie focused on playing the harp and let the music remove her from her surroundings, it became easier to bear the indignation of being so blatantly put in her place. She was barely conscious of how she sounded, only of playing and letting the soothing quality of doing something she knows well ease her spirits. She did not attend to the passage of time, and was quite deep in her trance until someone laid her hands on her wrists to stop her playing.

“I was worried about your hands,” Katya said, softly into her ear. She brought her hands closer so she could check them for injury.

“Thank you,” Trixie said. “You are too kind, Lady Katya. I do not have very delicate fingers, though, so you need not worry.”

Katya let out a small laugh. “You’re right. Your fingers are like leather. I like the feel of them, though.”

Trixie couldn’t help smiling back, as she gently pried her hands out of Katya’s grip. She did this slowly enough that she could savour her touch for a moment longer, letting the tips of her fingers linger over Katya’s before pulling back.

Valentina cleared her throat.

“Lady Beatrice, you stopped so suddenly! Won’t you delight us a moment longer?” she asked, the very picture of guilelessness.

“I think she has delighted us long enough,” said Violet, sounding like the queen she would become one day. “I almost went to examine her poor hands myself. Any longer and she will surely wear her fingers to the bone.”

Valentina pursed her lips and agreed, summoning the sweetness back to her tone as she called for Katya to resume the conversation that had been interrupted by her chivalry.

When Trixie returned to her party, Violet advised her that she would look the other way if she wished to visit Katya later that night, shielding their conversation with a fan. Trixie was then able to apologize to Katya for any coldness in her manner towards her, while Katya laid kisses on her fingertips and blame for any unpleasantness on Valentina. Until then, she had only her sister, and her friend to comfort her.

  
  



	5. the girl who stole a horse

Valentina was informed that Violet expected her to have derived all the satisfaction she was reasonably entitled to from checking her lady’s behaviour, and that no further abuse would be tolerated. Even so, Trixie continued to see less of Katya than she would like. Chafing under the constant stream of sympathy from Pearl, Kim, and even Violet, if she squinted, Trixie returned to her solitary way of living. 

She was not always without company. Adore was beginning to struggle with her human form more than ever, her legs often buckling under her own weight. She said it was bound to happen. For all that taking regular swims in the lake had helped her last longer as a two-legged creature, her body would start to rebel against spending so much time in a state she was not naturally built for without a single drop of ocean water to soothe her. There was no need to worry for her life, what few brains she had been blessed with at birth equipped her with enough understanding to know how to interpret these changes, but it did mean her time at the Academy was coming to an end. Knowing this, Trixie made an effort to see her as often as possible before she would leave them, and would often take turns with Adore’s many friends to help support her in walks about the castle and grounds. She was happy to lend her arm, and to listen as Adore talked about how she needed to get her fill of the campus. She dearly hoped her lack of brains wouldn’t cause her to forget what her home on land had looked like, and all the memories she had made.

“I never once saw you walk this way,” said Trixie, on one of their indoor walks. “What sort of cherished memories do you have from this part of the castle?”

“You had to be there,” Adore replied.

They walked on at a leisurely pace. Trixie pointed out paintings and ornaments so she could ask Adore what sweet moments they brought to mind. Adore either laughed and called her an idiot, or made up some outrageous story Trixie thought might be plausible in a castle with the highest concentration of magical beings she knew of. 

They were examining a painting of an imposing lady, making up stories about her identity since neither knew who she had been, when Adore gasped and tugged at her arm, directing her gaze at the object of her amazement.

Katya was wrestling with her voluminous skirts, possibly trying to check if she was in danger of tripping on them. She ventured to take a few steps while Trixie and Adore looked on, unsure in her footing. The gown itself was a vivid red, accented in gold, with a ruffled collar. Her hair was threaded with roses; Valentina had said that roses were her kingdom’s most famous export. Katya had never looked so stately, not in the time Trixie had known her. She was accompanied by Ginger, who was busy talking to an artist with some frustration as they strode through the halls at an agonizingly slow pace.

Adore shouted Katya’s name, and waved with her free arm. Trixie gave a smaller wave, and when Katya turned to look at them, she merely smiled and nodded in their direction. Her fists were tight around the fabric of her skirts.

***

It had been many nights since they saw each other, so Trixie saw no harm in sneaking off to see her later that night. Katya told her all about how the artist had been dissatisfied with the lighting in her private quarters, and led them in a painful procession in search of a room he would find more suitable to draw her miniature portrait. The man was determined to find fault in every room they came across, so Ginger had to force a decision on him.

“She was practically breathing fire by the time we settled on a room,” she said, with a laugh.

Trixie traced the marks left on Katya’s body by her corset. Katya wasn’t much used to wearing the amount of finery imposed upon her that day, and had pointed out the imprints as soon as she’d undressed so Trixie could pity the sorry state she’d been left in from having to be a proper lady.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stop to speak to you and Adore,” Katya continued. “I was trying to navigate my gown.”

“I should like to see you manage your wedding gown,” Trixie teased. “I hope you reach the altar safely.”

Katya laughed, though her eyes did not express true mirth.

“I looked like the ghost of menses past,” she said.

“We should go back and check if you left a bloody trail.”

“Probably from my poor feet!”

Trixie asked her to let her see those poor feet, and Katya shifted so she could take one in her hands. She did not see a source for a trail of blood, but she did her part in rubbing away the soreness she must have felt. She worked at Katya’s feet while she laid back, in perfect bliss. When she was quite through with that, Trixie laid kisses on Katya’s chest, where the corset had left grooves, while her fingers traced the marks on her sides. She kissed her way to Katya’s lips, and asked if she had taken care of all her pain.

“No,” she responded, with a quick kiss to Trixie’s lips. “Not until I’ve made love to you.”

***

Katya was reluctant to let her go in the morning. She held Trixie close as they stood at her doorway, as if she would vanish into dust unless she kept her close to her chest. Trixie assured her of her love, of her resolve to see her as much as their situation allowed until it was no longer possible.

“Remember what you said, when they told me about my marriage?” Katya asked, loosening her grip so they could see each other’s faces.

Trixie could not recall what Katya might like to hear repeated, out of all the things that had been said back then.

“You told me,” Katya said, with purpose. “That if we were to be parted, you would have me as long as I found my way back to you.”

“Of course,” Trixie said, placing a hand on Katya’s face and furrowing her brow.

“Do you think—I couldn’t hate you for carrying on without me, but is there a chance that you would wait? Even now?”

Trixie nodded her assent. She did this even as her rational side reminded her that once Katya was wed, she would truly be lost to her. She only thought of leaving Katya without a doubt as to the depth of her feelings, so that she may always remember her love, even if she never got to hold her again.

Katya kissed the corner of her mouth, and let her go at last.

Ginger later called on Trixie, to request that she stop coming to Katya’s quarters entirely for a few weeks. Katya, she said, needed to polish her manners, and to be briefed on the court she would preside over in due time. Since, as they both knew, Katya could be prone to distraction, it would be appreciated if Trixie could leave them to their business.

“Also, Madame Visage is likely to pop by at any moment. Katya is to receive an envoy from her fiancé’s court at some undecided date,” she said, making a sour expression. “They delight in surprising those beneath them, and will send envoys off at their leisure with no attention to the amount of time we need to prepare for them. In any case, I wouldn’t want you to have to meet Visage, she’s a common cause of headaches and I wouldn’t put it past her to stop for tea unannounced.”

She sighed, giving Trixie a wan smile.

“Also, she doesn’t like you.”

Ginger made the motions that usually signalled her departure, but stopped abruptly before the final flourish.

“Lady Trixie,” she said, looking her dead in the eye. “There’s something I need to ask you, and I need you to answer honestly.”

Trixie nodded, bid her to continue with the promise of complete honesty.

Ginger seemed reluctant to proceed. Trixie couldn’t quite read her. She wasn’t sure if she ever had been able to understand her, when she thought of it. What she did understand, despite her desire to be free of her company, of the tense air that hung between the two of them, was that Ginger wasn’t her enemy. It didn’t make it any more comfortable to face her steely gaze, but she felt it to be true.

“Do you love her?” 

Though she took a pause, Ginger held up a pudgy finger to signal that it was not time for Trixie to respond.

She carried on.

“There is no safety in choosing to be with Katya, she has nothing a girl like you would be looking for in a partner. You will not have a country estate, or a steady income. The most you can count on is my protection. Would you choose her over an advantageous marriage?”

Trixie didn’t have to think about her answer.

“I have never had riches in all my life,” she said. “My position has never been secure. I can’t miss what I never had, but I know that if I did not have to resign myself to losing Katya, I would be a fool to let her go.”

“So you do love her.”

Trixie responded with a resolute  _ yes _ . 

Having gotten what she wanted from her, and delivered her message, Ginger vanished.

***

When she woke to Fame gently shaking her awake, Trixie thought she might still be dreaming. Fame rarely had business with her, and when she did, she never sought her out until she’d at least had breakfast. She sat up to receive her, careful not to disturb Kim, who was curled up beside her.

“Fame? What’s the matter?”

“I have a letter for you,” said Fame, pressing some sheets of paper, folded all together, into her hands. “I was asked to give it to you before you could hear whatever is in it talked about in the halls. I haven’t looked at it, so I don’t know what it is that you need to hear. I’m sorry for disturbing you, you can go back to sleep if you wish.”

Fame kissed the top of her head and squeezed one of her wrists before disappearing. Still groggy from sleep, and more than a little bit confused, Trixie placed the letter on her nightstand so she could read it when she was fully rested.

When she finally greeted the morning, she was surprised to see the letter waiting where she’d placed it. The encounter with Fame had been so out of the ordinary, she had convinced herself that she dreamt it. Kim had taken to sleeping longer than she ought to, having few real tasks to occupy her time. Trixie was careful to let her be as she got ready for breakfast, and took the letter with her so she could look at it then. If it was something horrible, she thought, if her mother had died, or her father had been taken to prison, a note would arrive at breakfast for both her and Pearl to read. She thought nothing of it. 

She ate with Violet and Pearl, as usual, and wrapped some fruit and bread in a bundle to set aside for Kim.

Fame would regularly join them at breakfast. She didn’t eat, but she would bring letters if there were any, and liked to check in on her “little chickens”. That morning, she came to them with no mail, but with concern etched across her features. She sat herself next to Trixie, placing a hand on her back as if comforting her from a hurt she did not know she had suffered.

“Trixie, have you had a chance to read the letter I gave you this morning?”

Fame spoke softly, but Violet and Pearl were shooting inquisitive looks at the pair of them.

Trixie shook her head.

“No, but I have it right here,” she said, picking it up from where she’d laid it on the table.

“You must read it right away,” said Fame. “I have gathered some intelligence this morning from the other fae, and I fear you may find it distressing.”

Fame left her, upon inquiries from Violet as to the nature of these distressing news, to gather Pearl and Violet into a faraway corner of the room where they could hear without anything reaching Trixie’s ears. More than a little alarmed, Trixie unfolded her letter.

It read as follows:

_ Lady Trixie, _

_ Katya has run away, and I’ve gone with her. Don’t worry, she will be safe whether she likes it or not. Her well-being has been my first priority since she was placed in my care, and though at first I was convinced that proceeding with the marriage was best for her, I soon saw the error in that way of thinking. She should never have been brought to the Academy. _

_ I wish to apologize for the little trick I played on you. It was best to have you out of the way while we planned our escape. Katya didn’t approve of the deception, but I have to say, despite my love for her, that she lacks knowledge in the ways of the world. That’s her biggest weakness, her head is too far in the clouds. _

_ In any case, I explained to her that having you involved from the outset would only bring misfortune to the both of you. If you were to flee together, the consequences could reach your future sovereign, and by extension your sister. She’s inviting enough trouble onto herself as it is. We can’t predict how vindictive the Prince of G— will be, but it’s always best to plan for the worst case scenario, humans tend to run hot in temper. The first point in the Academy’s Code of Conduct is that International Incidents are Not to be Tolerated, and at least if it’s just Katya fleeing the scene it can be framed as a foolish girl with no remarkable origins snubbing the future king of a moderately powerful nation. They may just say  _ Oh, a Pox on Her _ , and let it be. If, on top of that, she was known to have removed a lady from the loving care of her future queen, you could imagine how inconvenient that would be for us. _

_ If you want to rage and blame anyone for leaving you behind, I hope that you have reasoned that the proper target for that is me.  _

_ Perhaps we will meet again, when the dust settles. We can only hope there won’t be much of it, but I have seen armies raised over pettier matters. If only your kind could be prevailed upon to be creatures of sense! _

_ Ginger _

Katya was not illiterate. She could read and was capable of writing, but she was a horrible correspondent. Whenever Trixie wrote to her, she would soon be confronted with either herself or Ginger calling on her to give a verbal response. It was always a sight to watch Ginger dutifully try to convey Katya’s gestures, as well as an unedited account of her words. 

Looking back, once the shock wore off, Trixie would wish Katya had written at least one line herself. 

She read the letter once, twice, and then a third time, as if the contents would change if she revisited it. She then set it down over the dregs of her breakfast, letting her body carry her out the door, past her friends and the ever-present concern she was tired of having to bear.

She didn’t cry, only moved as fast as she could until she was in the wing where Katya’s rooms had been. The door gave easily when she pushed it. Inside, it was as if all trace of Katya had been scrubbed. The little baubles Ginger had made, to decorate the rooms and cheer her up when she had just arrived, were nowhere to be found, as well as the stuffed raccoon she would sometimes wear on her head to make Trixie laugh. In fact, there was no furniture, or anything to suggest the rooms had been lived in. They were a blank canvas, waiting to be filled up by another lucky girl, hopefully one who would be more grateful than their most recent mistress.

She didn’t cry, but she did sink to the ground, where she must have been found and taken back to her bed.

  
  



	6. then you'll know she's truly yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said the first time around, thank you so much to all who have already read this, before I decided to mess with it, and to anyone who never laid eyes on it before. It's the only work, as of this writing, that I have actually taken from beginning to end... and I am still in awe of that fact. I'm not good at finishing things!

Trixie kept to her own bedroom, and the main room in Violet’s quarters as she grew accustomed to being left behind. 

Outside, the sun was bright and cheerful. She could hear birdsong wafting through the windows. Ignoring her pitiful requests for the reverse, Kim insisted on keeping them open for her.

“If my lady refuses to take in the fresh air by her own volition,” she would say, with exasperation and concern in equal measures. “It’s my duty as a friend to bring the air to  _ her _ .”

Trixie’s only desire was to sit in the feeling of missing Katya, to the point of silencing the part of her that otherwise would not hesitate to berate her about how utterly ridiculous it was to live like a ghost, refusing to speak to another living soul or enjoy nature in the full splendour of spring. She became devoted to wallowing in misery in a way she never had allowed herself before, wryly thinking that she may have been better off crying over her every unhappiness when it first arose so she could have more practice in it. 

Valentina called on her one morning, more contrite in her demeanour than Trixie had thought possible for her. She requested to see her alone, and Trixie agreed to it. Valentina may have been nasty in the past, but Trixie felt like she could handle whatever she chose to throw at her in her present state of mind.

There was no need to handle much of anything, though; Valentina proved to be on her best behaviour. She apologized for her indelicate treatment since, now that Trixie had been left quite alone, it seemed as though she might not have posed as much of a threat as Katya’s own willfulness. In her opinion, Katya had delighted in captivating both her and her poor, poor brother (who was already looking through eligible princesses for a more suitable bride, having learned the folly in attempting to harness a wild creature) only to abandon them when it struck her fancy.

“Not all common girls are like that, of course,” she said, while an uninterested Trixie exerted herself enough to maintain polite eye contact as she spoke. “But I do believe the character of the girl needs to be taken into account before one tries to work a miracle. Some people were simply not made to be royalty, regardless of how much help they receive. It’s simply not that easy, and being born beautiful does not a princess make.”

Thankfully, Valentina hadn’t taken the trouble to visit just to share her views on the requirements of royalty, or to flatter Trixie by suggesting she would have made a better candidate for a royal marriage. She had come into possession of Katya’s miniature, as it had been rejected by the fugitive’s would-be groom, and wished to present it to her as a gesture of goodwill.

“After all,” she explained. “You loved her the most.”

Trixie accepted it gratefully, though upon opening its case she found that the artist had not captured her fully. She had nothing to remember Katya by otherwise, so this would have to do.

After some days, she received a visit from Adore. The time had come for her to return to the sea, and she was on a quick farewell tour. She refused to leave without first presenting her dearest friends with tokens of her affection, even if they insisted on becoming hermits.

Trixie had to receive her. There was no knowing if they would ever meet again, and Adore had been a bright enough presence in her life to deserve that much. She bid Trixie not to miss her too much, leaving her with a glittering seashell affixed to a chain. If she could hear the sea when she held the shell to her ear, she would know Adore was well. She may even hear her sing, but Adore wasn’t too well-versed with the full capabilities of Trixie’s new trinket. She asked her to try speaking into it once in a while, in case the sound of her voice could reach her. She asked this of every lady she gave this type of pendant to.

They shared a warm hug, and parted ways. Trixie hung the chain around her neck. She found pressing the charm to her ear soothing, and would listen into it for hours while she remained stuck in her doldrums.

***

Kim soon resumed her original role as the princess’ chief dressmaker. She did not need to travel, she had built strong enough relationships to know where she could have the materials she needed sent for by then, but she was required to get back into the business of outfitting Her Royal Highness. The warm months brought on a need for an entirely new wardrobe, and as kind as Violet had been in giving leave for Kim to attend to Trixie, she could not go without just because one of her ladies was struck down by a lingering fit of heartache.

Being a person who was truly devoted to her work, this suited Kim greatly. However much she loved Trixie, she itched to serve her true purpose in her princess’ entourage. Trixie had neither the right, nor the desire to object. She had always liked watching Kim work, and took to sitting with her to pass the time. Though she was no longer any help, Kim would say that it was a vast improvement from her fast-paced lifestyle as a sad creature who only left her bed to sit on a sofa, and could not be relied on to eat three square meals a day if left to her own devices.

She carried Katya’s picture with her wherever she went. It hurt to look at her, but she felt better if her picture was nearby.

Violet finalized her engagement, and threw a small party in her quarters to celebrate. By then, Trixie was beginning to grow tired of moping, so she dusted herself off and made an appearance. Pearl had resolved to put on a brave face, and to be grateful that she was not obliged to part with Violet if she did not wish to. 

Her mood suited Trixie’s, and the two found solace in each other as the evening went on. They both found the future uncomfortable to contemplate, so they spoke only of fond memories they shared, allowing silence to settle between them if they ran out of positive thoughts to share.

In time, Pearl found her way back to Violet’s side. They spoke softly, hands clasped, heads together. 

Fame filled the empty space Pearl had left beside her. She had been monitoring Trixie closely in her own way, to make sure she was surviving well enough. Trixie informed her that she was as well as she could be.

“I’m glad to see you among us,” said Fame. “You have been missed.”

Trixie smiled.

“I intend to spend more time among the living,” she replied. “Keeping myself company is getting dull, I don’t make very lively conversation nowadays. I fear I might be mistaken for a palace ghost.”

“I think I heard someone whisper about a jilted lady haunting the halls,” said Fame.

“Must be another lady, I only haunt these rooms.”

Fame had no news of Katya, could only confirm that she had been given up for lost by the administration. It seldom happened that a lady escaped their care like this, but the main concerns when it did occur was conveying their regret to any injured royal parties and ensuring that the situation was framed as the actions of one foolish girl. The Academy as an entity would only concern itself with its own image. Katya mostly took her own belongings, and though Ginger was employed by the Academy, everyone knows that it is a fae’s prerogative to act as a free agent if she sees fit. A horse went missing from the stables, but replacing it was a simple matter. There was no danger of the fugitives being hunted by the Academy in the end.

Trixie nodded, and told Fame that she was glad to hear any information she was able to provide. In truth, she did not feel much better, but she appreciated the gesture. 

She asked Fame if it was within a fae’s power to magically put her heart back together, just to ease her curiosity. Fame replied that it was doable, but not advisable.

“Emotions have a strong self-preservation instinct,” she said. “They would surely return, more devastating than when you last parted.”

She was advised to let her feelings run their course. There was nothing else she could do.

***

Trixie grew accustomed to the dull ache inside of her. She remembered what a loyal friend solitude had been throughout her life, and was resolved to be as good to it as it had been to her going forward. She had no hope of finding the kind of companionship she had lost again in her life. She had to get used to that, let her skin turn to steel.

She started helping Kim with her sewing again, jokingly offering her services as a permanent assistant if she was truly desperate. She hadn’t expected Kim to respond that she would be welcome to assume such a role if she pleased, but did not take it seriously enough to give a solid answer. 

She picked up her instruments for the first time after weeks and weeks of depression. It was like getting reacquainted with an old friend, and she soon felt some cheer creep back into her life.

Wandering the halls aimlessly also became a favourite pastime. It was decent exercise, and if Trixie walked briskly enough she could forget her troubles for a moment. When she ventured outdoors, she avoided the lake, and found a new favourite place in the East Woods. They tended to be less crowded than the West Woods, for there was no remarkable beauty to be found in them unless one squinted. Sometimes, Pearl would join her and they would walk together, arm in arm.

Lately, their conversation had been focused on how odd it was that they had heard nothing from their mother since about Midwinter. She was not a prolific correspondent, but she had regularly sent small updates on the house, the surrounding village, how proud she was of Pearl, and her own well-being. 

Trixie paid little attention to the content of these missives, as she was seldom addressed directly. Being caught up in love, and the loss thereof, had taken up too much of her attention to notice that letters had stopped coming. Thus, Pearl was the only one out of the pair of them who could find it in her heart to worry. She speculated aloud about the reason for this loss of communication, while Trixie listened. There was an appropriateness to discussing their family affairs in the middle of the woods, where a passing squirrel might be entertained by their little domestic drama.

“If Papa died, our cousin may have established himself at home and sent Mama away somewhere,” Pearl said, with a hushed voice and furrowed brows.

Trixie frowned. “Cousin Edward? Was that his name?”

“I believe it was Edwin,” said Pearl. “Or Edgar. In any case, if Mama’s silence means she has been put out of the house, we are effectively homeless.”

“You mean  _ I _ am effectively homeless,” Trixie insisted. “You have little to worry about. Your place at court is secure, I can’t be so certain of mine.”

Pearl distracted herself for a moment by watching a small bird hop about from branch to branch above them.

“You are not the least bit concerned about Mama, are you?”

Trixie sighed. “I have very few feelings left altogether.”

“I guess you have always been a little heartless,” Pearl muttered. 

She blanched, then, eyes wide.

“I don’t mean it in an insulting way,” she added, hastily. “I can imagine how you came to be so. Gosh, I must have sounded awful. What I meant to say is that no matter how tender your heart is, you have never been very open about it—”

Trixie waved her hand.

“Pearl, don’t worry,” she said. “I  _ am _ heartless in regards to our mother. But the situation is truly concerning.”

“Even if Cousin Edbert has established himself as master of our house, he must be well-bred enough to send us a note about it. Just so that we know,” said Pearl.

Trixie snorted. “I wouldn’t say so, our family breeds terrible men.”

“But it breeds good women,” said Pearl. “If anything has happened, I will make sure you are taken care of. No matter what I have to do, my dear little sister will not be homeless.”

Trixie stopped them for a while so she could face her, and tenderly brush a lock of hair from her face. She let any cutting words about how they were twins, and that she was hardly little, die before they could make it out of her mouth. It was not the time for sass.

***

It did not take long for Trixie and Pearl to receive news from home, and though it was not as dire as they had imagined, all was not well. Their father had taken the time to write to them, confirming that he had not passed, but according to his account their mother had been ill for quite some time. She had not wanted to disturb them, much less Her Royal Highness, but her condition was not improving with time, as they had hoped it would.

The house was falling into disarray, as Papa was struggling with the demands of running a household while maintaining his rakish lifestyle. He wished for at least one of his daughters to return home, and to help tend to their mother. The servants needed direction, and only a woman could concern herself with domestic matters.

_ Of course _ , he wrote,  _ your Mama would be glad to see her darling Pearl again if HRH Princess Violet can spare her, but as far as I am concerned you would both be capable of assuming this duty, so it makes no difference to me if Beatrice wishes to return in her stead. _

There was no question of Pearl leaving Violet’s side, not when she was still in need of a companion abroad. She had been the one Violet had wanted to begin with, there was no reason Trixie should be left behind when Pearl’s company was more precious to her. Pearl had her own sort of chivalry, though, and the two of them nearly ended up in a screaming match over which of them would be forced to leave.

“Mama has never treated you as she ought to,” cried Pearl, in her valiant attempt to spare Trixie of what she thought was too horrible an ordeal for her to bear. “I do not wish to see you abused.”

“What could a sick woman possibly do to hurt me?” Trixie replied.

She excused herself to take the air before Pearl could be compelled to raise her voice, making sure to look Violet in the eye and proclaiming that Pearl would not be going home, before leaving. She was resolute, could not be convinced of a more logical course than to be the one to care for her mother whether the woman could find it in her to be grateful or not.

It was time for Trixie to mentally prepare herself to leave the Academy, a feat more difficult than she had thought. Her heart no longer had an anchor there, but it was still a place where she had found happiness, brief as it had been. At the very least she would have to say goodbye to as much of it as she could reach, like Adore had when she felt her departure approaching.

Trixie would have less time to do that than her friend had before her. News of their mother had reached the castle with their morning post, and it was scarcely high noon before her wanderings were cut short by Fame’s sudden appearance. Though she normally favoured lavender hues, Fame had come to her dressed head-to-toe in black.

“Her Majesty the Queen requires your presence,” she said, holding out her hand for Trixie to take.

***

Violet greeted her small household with the bearing of a queen, and a slight, but unmistakable redness around her eyes. Her voice never wavered as she informed them that it was time for  _ all _ of them to go home. The throne was waiting for her.

Trixie lingered long enough after the address to catch sight of their new queen falling into Pearl’s arms before going to pack her things. 

The king’s death effectively settled the argument of which sister would return to their mother. As far as anyone had known, the king had been in perfect health before he was carried off by a sudden bout of illness overnight. Violet needed her closest friends as she adjusted to her role sooner than she had expected, and she needed Pearl more than ever. As much personal power as she had gained in her father’s passing, Violet had loved him. As the queen’s woman, Pearl could not leave her.

Farewell messages were dispatched to the ladies that could not be left without a word, and the royal party was soon on their way home. Trixie recalled the journey to the Academy taking several days, yet their return was somehow a matter of hours. Fame had not given them the choice to remain awake this time around, requesting that they all let her induce them to sleep. Perhaps that had something to do with the speed of their progress.

Trixie was given a room at the palace to stay in for a couple of nights. She wrote home to advise that she would be arriving soon. She allowed herself some days to be available to Pearl, who would seek her out for a daily chat. She would update her on Violet’s condition, and how proud she was of the way she held herself up at every meeting she was required to attend, every audience she was obligated to give despite wanting nothing more than to be in Pearl’s arms for the whole day.

Violet summoned Trixie to offer her the choice of returning to court as a musician, when the situation at home had passed. She only requested that she take care not to embark on any more torrid love affairs, for the sake of her own sanity, though she said this with a wink. Trixie responded by telling her that she aspired to be an old maid, so there would be no more love affairs, torrid or otherwise.

“If that is what you want, I hope you will be comfortable enough imposing on our hospitality,” Violet said. “You will have to play for us, though. If you could be so kind as to become a renowned musician known across the land and outside of it, that would be much appreciated. We may regret our kindness otherwise.”

She suffered the most stilted embrace of her life in Violet’s arms, but was able to leave the interaction with some certainty of her sovereign’s favour.

Pearl held her in a much warmer, more lingering embrace upon her departure. As her carriage pulled away, she kept her eyes on the shrinking form of her sister, standing at the palace entrance until she was truly gone. When she lost sight of her, Trixie turned her gaze homeward.

***

Trixie was briefly received by her father upon her return home. It took her some time to recognize him as the man who had once stumbled into the nursery and picked her up for a drunken dance, while Pearl frantically reached to pull her back down, afraid of the strange man with the funny smell. He cleaned up pretty nicely, might even pass for someone worthy of a noble title, but he struggled to muster anything beyond the most basic pleasantries for his own daughter.

Predictably, her mother gamely tried to conceal her disappointment upon seeing her, but she did approve of the decision to leave Pearl with the queen.

“She must be so loved, that the queen couldn’t possibly spare her,” said her mother, hanging on to the faintest spark of joy she could get out of having to suffer Trixie’s care. “We may soon be truly respectable again, despite your father’s best efforts.”

Trixie did not tell her the depth of the queen’s love for her favoured daughter. 

***

There were news of a dragon making a public appearance in some faraway land. Trixie heard them from a kitchen maid, who heard it somewhere in the village. One of the greatest mysteries of the world is how such giant creatures were so seldom seen, so whenever anyone so much as imagined catching sight of a dragon, it was a matter of public interest the world over. No details were to be had on what it looked like, where it had manifested, and if anything had gone up in flames as a result of it being there. Trixie imagined that if anything had been burned by dragon fire, it would be widely known. This one must have been on its best behaviour.

It was a testament to the magnificence of the event that Violet’s coronation was still spoken of at all, even with a dragon on the loose. Kim had sent copies of the sketches for Violet’s gown in the mail, so that Trixie could appreciate her friend’s work through them, and she could only just about hear the gasps of onlookers as she rode through the crowds in the capital. Pearl had been noted for her great beauty as she was spotted riding in a carriage with Fame behind the one that conveyed the queen. 

She wrote with great amusement of how she had received at least three offers of marriage after that, but did not wish to consider them unless she was in dire need of a husband. She didn’t have any observable examples of a husband leading to greater happiness than what she could find with the love of a queen, and as long as it could maintain her she saw no need to fix herself to one. It delighted her that the clearer her position as the queen’s favourite became, the more people sought her favour, as she did not think there was anything about herself that merited such treatment.

With the imposed mourning period for the late king at an end, and the new queen’s coronation done with, it was time to set a date for the royal wedding. 

Pearl had written to Trixie with promises of procuring an invitation for her, and seeing if their mother could be brought along. Perhaps, she mused, an official invitation to such a grand event would be just the thing to raise her from her bed.

Their mother clung to life so stubbornly that whatever was ailing her did not worsen, nor did it improve. Her symptoms were limited to a simple refusal to engage with the wider world in any way, as if all the bitterness in her heart had finally robbed her of her mobility. Whatever was keeping her shackled to her mortal coil was likely doing so in spite of her wishes.

If Trixie had ever formed a close bond with her, it may have been in her power to alleviate her condition. The best she could do was to keep the house running and let her mother retreat into herself, for she knew not where she could find adequate treatment for her. Sometimes she woke up in a sweat, having dreamt of taking her breakfast to her only to find herself lying in that bed instead. 

She kept her mother’s windows open to let in the air, like Kim had done for her once. She dutifully sat by her side when she wanted company, and even played a song or two if she was asked. She had her meals sent to her on time, which was a small thing her father was not able to do when he had his hands on the reins. Her mother never praised her, but she never complained either.

Keeping up with news of her friends became the most important thing to her, as a way of keeping herself tethered to the world. She had almost succumbed to her sorrows once, and her fighter’s spirit would not allow that to be her eventual fate.

Valentina had written to Violet with news of her once-spurned brother receiving a peculiar visit on the eve of his wedding. She had been vague in her description of the visitor, but did say that it was a mutual acquaintance, and that dear Lady Beatrice might like to know of this strange happening. Pearl had included the news in the postscript of one of her more recent letters.

Trixie did not dare to hope, but there was only one person she cared about who might have business with Valentina’s brother, and it did bring her joy to hear that she was well. Ever since she received Pearl’s letter, she would catch herself entertaining the thought that Katya might still find her and take her away.  It did her no harm to lift her spirits with the occasional daydream as long as the chickens were fed, and the house was still standing.

Sometimes, she tried to picture herself as a married woman, but only as far as having a household of her own to run, one that would not be so surely taken away from her in due time. She could not picture her husband for the life of her, nor could she fully see Katya in that role. The life she had imagined with Katya had been different than that of a country wife, though she did think she would have liked keeping a comfortable home for her if she had wanted it. Perhaps if they ever got old and weary of travelling, they could have settled down some place where they could have a pretty view to look at from their sitting room window.

She kept Katya’s picture on her bedside table, propped up in its case so she could see it with a quick glance. Sometimes she would sit on her bed and play her lute, and she would imagine Katya there in the place of the picture. She missed the light she brought everywhere she went, she missed her laugh, and her touch, and the way she would look at her like she was a precious gift from the gods.

It was a small mercy that she could now look back on her time with Katya without pain, and it comforted her when she wanted to remember what it was like to be so happy.

***

The invitations to the royal wedding arrived one sunny morning, nestled alongside a letter from Pearl. Trixie let her mother know that she was welcome to attend, but she only shook her head at the notion, insisting that a frumpy old woman like her had no business at the court of a fashionable young queen. 

“It’s up to you, and you alone, to quit wasting time,” she told her. “Pearl is so valuable to the queen that she’s been made a duchess, but the gods alone know where  _ you _ will end up if you keep on refusing to apply yourself. You have all the tools you need. I’m determined to die soon, and your father can’t possibly live forever. That would be too cruel.”

Trixie left her to natter on if she wished, choosing instead to occupy her thoughts with pleasant ways she could spend the day. She decided to take a walk. There was a little copse nearby, where she could read her letter and think of how she might respond to it under the light of the sun. When she returned, she might play a little outside if the weather didn’t turn gloomy. The summer skies could be unpredictable.

She ended up on an aimless ramble, leaving the letter at home, letting her thoughts wander freely. 

For a brief moment, the skies went dark, and Trixie heard a strange whoosh overhead, too alien to be the sound of thunder. Though startling, this was not followed by the coming of rain or the end of times, and clear sky was all that could be seen after the period of darkness. 

Even so, she was compelled to hurry home in case there were more potential heart attacks in store for her. In doing that, she inadvertently ran headlong into the greatest of them all.

A dragon was stood on the grass near the front of her house. It was gray in colour, with small black spots and black hair growing in a mane along its neck. There was something rather horse-like about it, but it resembled the creatures she’d seen in books enough that it had to be some species of dragon. It had spared her flowers, and paid no mind to the servants crowded around the window to gaze at it in awe, as it was engrossed in covering an increasingly irate Ginger in smoke from its nostrils for what could only be its own amusement.

Katya was perched on its back, as high as she could to see as much as possible, and to be easily spotted by Trixie as she crept up the path home. She quickly dismounted when she saw her, cautiously approaching her where she stood.

Trixie stood stock still, waiting for the sight before her to vanish. She kept her eyes fixed on Katya, who only looked more solid and real the closer she got. She would have to catch up to the fact of her wildest dreams having come true when she came to be within touching distance.

Soon, Trixie would find out what Katya had been up to in the time leading up to that moment, accept her apologies for the way she had left her, and agree that they should never be parted again, at least not without sufficient notice. They would map out the life they would share together over tea, after she had introduced her guests to the household staff and worked out the best way to care for their needs, particularly those of the largest, most exotic of the group.

At that moment, though, all Trixie could do was gather her Katya into her arms.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking questions/comments/complaints on Tumblr at @fannyatrollop.


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